8 First Date Essentials For LDS Singles

First dates can be trying and stressful. They can render even the most experienced of LDS Singles shy, silent, awkward and prone to mistakes that blow the chances of getting a second date; even before the first one is over. Here is some advice to help you put your most attractive foot forward

DO call a friend or family member for a pep talk.
If you are overly nervous in anticipation of your first date, call a friend for a few words of encouragement before you meet the person. You’ll be amazed how much easier it is to walk into a date with confidence after a few words of positive reinforcement from someone who knows and cares about you. And, quite frankly, a little prayer for confidence and composure can have a calming influence as well

DO be open to unexpected date ideas and be prepared for them.
A date should allow for interaction, conversation and a chance to show how you treat others and to evaluate how you are treated in return.  You will be greatly served in your efforts to get to know each other and leave a better impression if you give consideration to doing things which are creative, unique, sweet, and even low-key

DO have a positive attitude.
Latter-Day Saint singles are some of the most exciting people around.  Therefore, it is absolutely OK (even encouraged) to be thrilled at the opportunity to go out with someone new. (In fact you might question your motives if you are not.) Things can go wrong, but your attitude about what happens can ultimately make or break the date and will certainly say loads about you to your date.

Do make a good first impression.
Be on time.  Be appropriately dressed. (I really don’t have to put maintain LDS standards here, do I?) Compliment your date on how he or she looks. Chances are if you’ve put effort into getting ready, so has your date and it is flattering when someone notices.  Be confident. Be yourself.  Be gracious by expressing appreciation for the date; you took time out of your schedule and so did they.

DO be interested and interesting.
No one wants to go on a first date with the human equivalent of those dead-fish handshakes I used to get as a missionary in France.  Make eye contact. Talk. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.  If you feel a lull in the conversation: ask about mission experiences, callings, or service projects attended.  Be proactive.  (I suggest even thinking of some questions beforehand of things you would like to know and using those if the conversation wanes.)

DO keep the conversation light.
Even being LDS, there are questions that probably shouldn’t be asked during a first date and information that shouldn’t be shared.  If you ask a question that seems to make your date uncomfortable, be courteous and withdraw it.  “O be wise; what can I say more” (Jacob 6:12), especially in what you share on a first date.  Sharing some of your innermost secrets too early could be a reason for rejection.

DO leave your past relationships behind.
You’ve committed to being with this person for a brief period of time in order to learn about one another.  So, don’t bring your ex on a first date.  Do as the scriptures admonish, at least for the duration of your date: “[forget] those things which are behind and reach forth unto those things which are before.” (Phillipians 3: 13-14)

DO play it safe.
Being LDS, we sometimes have a tendency to be overly trusting.  It is still wise to err on the side of caution.

• Take your cell phone with you; keep it charged.
• Consider driving yourself.
• Tell someone where you’re going, who you’ll be with and when you’ll be back.
• Insist your first date be in a well-lit public place.
• Be places and do things with which you are comfortable.
• Maintain your standards.
• Avoid giving out personal information that may not already be known, including home phone number and home address.

Keep these tips in mind. Relax and have a great time.  You just never know what good can come of a first date.  It just may be the story that you tell over and over again.

Remember: We’re LDS!  We’re Single! And, we’re all in this together! 

P.S. If you are looking for great ideas for what to do on your first date check out 101 Creative Dates For Latter-Day Saints.

P.P.S. If you would like to read a more indepth look at dating as a single Latter-Day Saint, pick up a copy of A Single Voice by Kristen M. Oaks and check out the chapter called “A Single Date”